What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?īeef strokin’ off. What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth?Ī glad-he-ate-her. What did the O say to the Q?ĭude, your dick’s hanging out. Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from. Dirty Dad Jokes How do you embarrass an archaeologist? If you lay ’em right the first time, you can walk all over them for the next 20 years or so. “Thirty dudes is the most I can screw in one night.” How are women like linoleum floors? What does a dumb slut say when you ask if she’s ever tried 69? When he’s standing next you girlfriend saying that her hair smells nice. What’s the difference between a clitoris and a cell phone? They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed. What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common? How come we spend so little time together? What do you call two men fighting over a slut? The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.” What did one of the prostitute’s knees say to the other? A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there you know what that means.” If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down. How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly? What’s the difference between your wife and your job?Īfter five years, your job will still suck. A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party-except you. What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?Ī whore sleeps with everyone at the party. What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? Rude Jokes How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Want to know why they say eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life?īecause if you eat that stuff, you’re sure to eat anything. What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? What’s the best part about sex with twenty eight year olds? What did the penis say to the vagina?ĭon’t make me come in there! What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner. Hold on to your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary blowjob. Sex Jokes What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? How does a woman scare their gynecologist?īy becoming a ventriloquist. Why did the woman leave her husband after he spent all their money on a penis enlarger? What does a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?īoth have a wet nose.
#Short prank call jokes skin
What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?Ĭondoms have evolved: They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore. What do you get when you jingle a man’s balls?Ī white Christmas. What do women and noodles have in common?īoth wiggle when you eat them. What do a woman and a bar have in common? They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them. How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?Īs soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?Ĭall and tell her about it. The Daily English Show Dirty Jokes for Her What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?Ī guy will actually search for a golf ball.
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